So to those of you who read my last blog posting got to know me a little bit better and how I got to where I am in my life and career. It was an extremely personal blog for me. It was my story till now, unique and telling in its own right. We all have a story. Some are happy, tragic, funny, sad, complicated….we could go on and on. After reading some of the comments on me last post, I was so incredibly touched by all the kind words and sentiments my friend and families and even strangers took time to post. I was a little …..surprised ….to hear so many people say it was tragic. The things that have happened in my life are little in comparisin to some. I used to think all those things that happened were sad and tragic, but I am slowly learning to understand that they are just part of my story. We are given in our life an opportunity, an opportunity to have free will. Free will to be happy and to change the things that make us unhappy. Don’t get me wrong I struggle with this, and at times have struggled greatly, but I know that every event in my life has led me to this point and at this point in life….I’m good!
I have had a couple things happen over the last little while that has made me completely rethink the value of what I do as a photographer. The first thing was something , lets call it divine for arguments sake, that lead me to a visual memory and more. So in my last post you learned that I lost my dad to esophageal cancer when I was 24, he was 57 years old. My dad was ……..an amazing dad….my best bud and we were very very close. One day in another post I maybe will share the eulogy I wrote for him….its quite revealing and at times a little humorous. My dad’s illness had a profound effect on my life. I watched my strong, independent dad become weak and dependant. Although that was just physically, he was always fighting till the very end. When my dad’s cancer was discovered, it was in his esophageous, lungs and liver. It was not a good prognosis. My dad was very private about his treatment, he would not let us go to his appointments to the dr with him…never told us what his prognosis was….just that he was ready to fight. I think he did this to protect us. He did do chemo, it was tough, but towards the end he was just so tired. It has been 12 years since we lost him yet it feels like last week some days. So how does this all relate to a photograph. Well one night I was sitting on the couch alone, the husband was out, and I was thinking about my dad and having a good cry, as we all do sometimes. So glass of wine in hand, depressing music playing I was settling down for a woeful night. Then all of a sudden the bottom of my piano bench falls out and all the music books and god knows what else falls all over the floor. I sat there thinking “what the heck”…so I walked over to clean up the mess and started to look through some of the things that had clearly been stashed away in that bench for some time. After sifting through a few things I came across a card. It was the last birthday card my dad had given me and I opened it up and a photo fell out. It was a picture of me and my dad…I was very little in the photo. I thought what the heck this is really strange…..then I noticed a voice recorder on the floor. You know one of those old ones you used to take to class in university so you didn’t have to write notes…..so i picked it up and hit play. I was hearing my dad voice for the first time in 12 years. Wow what a feeling. He wasn’t talking about anything in particular, but I could hear him. So the rest of the night I just stared at that photo and listened to his voice. It was like he was there trying to tell me “don’t worry I’m still here”.
So what does this have to do with photography? We live in a digital age where our photos are on our phones, or saved on a usb which is stuffed into a drawer and then we forget about them. When I think about that it makes me sad and I am completely guilty of doing the same thing. You would think as a photographer I would have beautiful artwork hanging in my house…..well now I am starting to. To hold a photograph in my hands and put it up in my home to look at daily is not only serving as a piece of art in my home but it is putting my memories right in front of me every single day. I feel that my family and friends are always present in my home because of the photographs I have of them on display.
Recently part of our family went through yet another tragedy, my husband lost his cousin in an accident. It was a heartbreaking time for his family and ours. The night of the funeral we went to his families home to spend time with everyone and they pulled out boxes of photographs of years past. While I was flipping through these photographs which were now so much more than just pieces of paper, I looked around and here on a day that was indeed the worst day many of them had ever been through, these photos were making them smile and laugh. Think about how powerful that is….really think about it. That is the power of a photograph. It brings you back to that time and place. It takes you out of what is happening in your life at that moment and brings you joy. Brings you peace. I have to thank Uncle Jack for reminding me that night how important it is to actually print your photos and keep them safe.
I have photographed many things so far through out this career that have made me realize the value of a photograph.
I have photographed well over a hundred weddings…provided images to couples to hand in their homes as they start their marriage
I have photographed countless babies in their first week of life. It is such a short time the newborn phase so what an honor to capture that for very very tired parents.lol
I have photographed children that have passed away now. Again what an honour to know I have been able to provide something precious and irreplaceable to a grieving parent
I have photographed a wedding planned in 3 weeks because the groom was ill and didn’t have much time left. Again, an honor to come into someones lives at a time that is so incredibly difficult and make it a great day and leave them with something to hold onto
I have photographed a mother to be’s maternity session, knowing that baby will not survive, but still wants to remember the joy her pregnancy brought to her.
I have photographed young teenagers, who are extremely self conscious to have them turn around and feel confidant and proud after their photoshoot.
I have photographed woman from violent relationships and left them feeling powerful, beautiful and confidant
I have photographed woman with eating disorders, whom at one time hated their bodies, but afterward seeing their bodies in a whole new light.
I have photographed a toddler who took his first steps right in front of my camera. It doesn’t get any better than that.
So photography is not just about taking a picture. It is about freezing a moment in time. It is providing an opportunity to escape back to that moment of joy or pain. It is about having those memories at your fingertips. So I beg of you please cherish your photographs, don’t just leave them on a usb in a drawer. Print them and display them. Share them with the world, and not just on social media. Hang them in your home as a conversation piece. Photos can help you heal , they can inspire you and most of all they remind you of the love you share with each and every person in them.
~ Jill
